What are you building?

Over the weekend, Aashka was building a tall tower with her blocks. At one point the tower could not balance itself and it fell. The blocks were shattered on the floor. Aashka looked at me with a sad face, so I suggested to try again.

She agreed and started rebuilding. Something happened and this time she broke everything. I asked her, what happened? and she said "I didn't like it".

The 3rd time she made something and called it a "Princess Castle". It didn't look like a castle to me but she was very excited that at the end she made something she liked.

I sat back and started to think, the process of building blocks is very much like building your life.

You always want to make something that you like and are satisfied with. Working towards that, there are times when circumstances shatter everything and you feel completely lost and frustrated that all your efforts are wasted. And there are times when it's you who doesn't like what you've built and start all over again. 

No matter how many times you have to rebuild everything, as long as you like what you are building, that's what matters. So what are you building?

Not just Aashka's mother

It's the most amazing feeling.

It's a big responsibility.
Are you sure you are ready for this?
Hearing this from people gave me mixed feelings about becoming a mother.

And when it happened, everything changed for me. The way I looked at the world, the way I took care of myself, the things I talked about, the kind of food I ate and places I went to. There were things I loved doing, which I could not do anymore and there were things I never did which became a part of my life. My world started to revolve around Aashka and from Lavanya Soni, I became Aashka's Mother.

I love being her mother, but there are times when I want to be just Lavanya Soni, who has her own interests, her dreams, who craves for personal achievements. There are times when I feel there is more I want to do with my life than just being a mother. Taking care of Aashka and making sure she gets all the love and nurturing from us is important to me but what's equally important is that I want her to recognize me not only as her mother but also as a woman who loves to sing, draw and explore the world, a professional who is passionate about her career.

Hoping one day when she becomes a mother, she could continue to be who she really is and still be a loving mother.

He knows the balance

 

It's interesting how God understand our needs and balances our lives.

• He knew I needed a mentor, so he created my dad.
• He knew I needed to be kept in control, so he created my mother.
• He knew I needed someone to fight and take care of at the same time, so he created my brother. 
• He knew I really needed someone who can put up with all my craziness and loves me the way I am, so he created my husband.
• He knew I needed people who I don't need to talk to every day but still feel close, so he created my friends.
• He knew, after all this I still needed to understand and feel the meaning of true and unconditional love, so he created my little daughter.

I thank you God from the bottom of my heart for filling up my life with such wonderful people!